Saying yes too much could be hurting you

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when we think of ice cream? 🍨

Let me guess.

The good taste, obviously
The pleasant after-taste
Everyone’s happiness

What are the first three things on your mind if you think of a manager? Probably a person standing in a suit, leading a meeting, and instructing others. The number of matches in these features stands at 0. So, why do we act like we can crank it up to 11? 💯

People-pleasing is all too common

A YouGov poll showed that 49% of people surveyed identified themselves as “people-pleasers,” taking on a self-imposed quest to make everyone happy, even at personal costs. This behavior is even more present in women due to prevalent social constructs.

We often inadvertently fall into some familiar people-pleasing #behaviors while trying to be the managers of our dreams. Are you one such person? Let’s see –

I usually don’t #delegate because my team is already doing so much.
I accept all proposals and ideas because I want to show I value them.
I don’t offer negative feedback because I don’t want to hurt others.
I keep the responsibility concentrated in my hands, especially when things go wrong.
I am ready to do pretty much everything to avoid conflict and #confrontation.

Not saying no hurts you!

But ensuring comfort does not mean a perpetual yes, and aiding growth does not stand for never being critical. There’s a thin line in there, and standing on either side of it can translate into a massive difference in the impact you can make as a manager.

Consistent people-pleasing behavior does not only hurt your perception. There’s much more to it. While a manager’s credibility is lost, the people lose trust, and slowly, resentment builds up. The feeling of anxiety every time someone is about to be unhappy wrecks up your nervous system. Eventually, the vacuum left by a leader can become the team’s first step toward collapse.

Saying no and standing your ground at the right time can save you. How do I do it? Ask Merlin for free now. 🤖