One-on-one Meetings That Don’t Make Your Team Sigh

One-on-one Meetings That Don’t Make Your Team Sigh

One-on-one meetings! If you are anywhere close to a performance review session, your calendar might be crowded by the team. But there’s more: most effective managers do not wait for performance reviews to knock before leading a one-on-one meeting. Instead, they consistently organize such review meetings with their team members. And the impact is palpable – managers who recognize the importance of solid one-on-one catch-ups are in sync with their team members. Their relationships go beyond the professional workspaces and develop into practical ways to connect. If you are here, undoubtedly, you want to join this league. So, let’s figure a way out to make your one-on-one meetings top notch!
Simply put, a one-on-one meeting is a conversation between a manager and an employee to get to know each other. The discussions can range from career progression to addressing concerns and providing support and coaching. All in all, they are an opportunity for the manager to show that they are present and willing to help while creating a safe space for the team member to share their thoughts. Remember, it’s a two-way conversation, not a critical monologue session. The focus should be on topics beyond work rather than on taking status updates.
One-on-one conversations involve connecting emotionally and creating dedicated space and time for meaningful interactions. View these one-on-one conversations as a holistic approach that encompasses feedback but begins with establishing strong connections.Ashish Manchanda, Manager Story

But what’s the point? Why should you take one-on-one meetings seriously?

If you are thinking, why bother? Here are several incredible reasons to invest your time and energy in one-on-one meetings. 
  • First, these meetings allow managers to gain deeper insights into their team members, aspirations and needs through attentive listening. They also help employees discuss things that don’t come up in shared and public spaces. By showcasing authenticity and vulnerability as a leader, you can empower your team to emulate.
  • Second, it establishes you as a confidante and trustworthy supporter of your team members. When a manager creates a safe space and truly listens, it allows the team members to place trust and loyalty in them. Psychological safety is not a buzzword; it matters (high psychological safety takes the risk of turnover as low as 3%, as per BCG), and one-on-one help helps you create it big time. 
  • Third, it makes your working relationship super smooth. How easy is it to go to your manager and say you need some time for professional development? Pretty great, right? That’s what consistently keeping up with one-on-one meetings allows team members to do. It creates a working relationship free of facades and mutually focuses on developing the team and individual.
Before heading on to crafting perfection, let’s look at what we typically miss: what makes a one-on-one meeting bad? Think of your own experiences. Did you ever have a one-on-one catch-up with that left you seething with anger, or worse – sad?  Here’s why it happens: 

People are different

It’s no surprise that people vary, and so does everything about them that is needed to build a solid working relationship. This includes their communication styles, personalities, ways of working, and much more. When these two don’t align, one-on-one meetings often become a competition or argument instead of a collaborative discussion. 

The manager tells without showing

Picture a one-on-one meeting going like this: a manager starts on a good note and urges their team member to be open and honest about everything – the good, bad, and the ugly. But on the flip side, the manager does not follow their word and shares little of their perspective. As a result, the team member does not get a concrete example of how vulnerability or authenticity can be expressed. Instead, they are left with something sinister – an unfulfilled promise and a space that makes them uncomfortable as they walk out of the meeting room while sighing and thanking themselves for not blurting out everything. 

The manager takes the lead

Heading into a one-on-one meeting with the attitude of a team meeting where you direct everyone to this or that backfires big time. It’s crucial to understand that one-on-one meetings are not a one-way channel to share your thoughts with a person. A manager’s role in a one-on-one meeting extends to facilitating their team to overcome hesitation and truly express their needs and thoughts. Focusing on listening, not speaking. Not asking questions, going ahead without an agenda, and not taking feedback from the team members are the most common problems in bad one-on-one meetings. 

Defensive behavior and high guards

Sometimes, one-on-one meetings could fail if the team members are not ready to open up and share their thoughts. After all, it takes two to clap. In such instances of defensive behavior from a team member, focus on building rapport with them and creating a sense of safety that helps them put their guard down. Initially, the process could be slow, but it ultimately leads to solid returns. Remember that personalities and communication styles vary, and accommodating them is necessary to create solid one-on-one relationships.

Let’s think boundaries

We started by taking note of one-on-one meetings as something that creates a solid working relationship, one that is marked by authenticity and care on both sides. Yet the moment we head out of strict professional space, we walk along a delicate line – one where we, as managers, might end up encroaching into their personal lives. Criticism that goes to the person instead of the professional hurts the commitment to creating good relationships and safety at work. Hence, boundaries matter. 
The structure and frequency of one-on-one meetings are critical factors that differentiate them from other water cooler conversations. What else? The agenda, questions, and updates matter, too! Let’s use an example to see this one in action. We are heading into a one-on-one meeting with a manager named Andrew to see how it goes.  First, let’s focus on the structural things. Before heading into a meeting, we need to collect some ingredients: 

How to schedule one on one meetings?

Yep, we need to schedule a meeting before conducting one, unsurprisingly. Ideally, schedule the meeting a few days before it happens and do so at a regular cadence. Irregularity and lack of frequency can be a source of disappointment, as they show that the matter is not severe enough to give due thought and planning. The ideal cadence for one-on-one meetings depends on your context. While a manager new to the team should keep the frequency high, those dealing with senior reports need more time for in-depth discussions. Remote managers doing one-on-one meetings can take it up frequently to compensate for limited interactions. Team size matters too—after all, you can’t spend a week on one-on-ones alone! Moreover, your team will have something to say about it, so do take their opinions on the frequency of meetings. Managers hold one-on-one meetings weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly, depending on their team’s structure and needs. A monthly routine can be a great way to start—it gives enough time for developments to progress and enables reviews. Define a suitable time limit that does not take away from your team’s productivity while allowing a good discussion. Anywhere between 20 to 40 minutes is a good place to start. Once the meeting is set, we can move forward. While speaking of the frequency of one-on-one meetings, it’s essential to acknowledge that keeping them far away or canceling them at the last minute is a sure-shot red flag. If a meeting cannot happen, find an alternative to compensate for the lost chance at connecting; it shows that you care.

Defining the one-on-one meeting agenda

An agenda helps you set the tone and purpose of the meeting right from the start. One-on-one meetings can often falter because they seem like an unnecessary vanity exercise imposed by management. Having set agendas and topics to discuss can help you avoid that. Moreover, scheduling the meeting in advance allows your team members time to prepare and share their agendas and topics.  Here’s how Andrew sets the agenda in our example one-on-one meeting with his team members: 
  • Step 1: Add critical points to discuss along with the meeting invite. It helps the team members prepare and ensures them about the contents of the discussion, creating comfort.
  • Step 2: When the meeting starts, clearly reiterate the agenda, like this: “Thanks for meeting with me today, Alex. I wanted to touch base on a few key points. First, let’s discuss your current projects and any challenges you’re facing. Then, I’d like to discuss your goals for the upcoming quarter. Lastly, we can address any support or resources you might need from me or the team. Does that sound good to you?
  • Step 3: Add Alex’s points to discuss in the meeting.
With this sorted, we can move on to the next step of conducting good one-on-one meetings.

Talking progress in a one-on-one conversation 

One focal point of a one-on-one meeting is discussing progress on the plans you made last time. In addition to work-related areas, you can discuss professional development and personal growth. For instance, your team member might have started a course on time management after you pointed out the need for more timeliness. Ask about it. It shows that you care and remember what’s happening with them.  Here’s how Andrew asked Alex about her previous work:  “How are things progressing with Project X? Are you on track to meet the milestones we set? I noticed you encountered some issues last week. Can you update me on how you’ve tackled those challenges?“ Keeping progress in mind also defines a routine for one-on-one meetings and keeps the conversation consistent. Consider taking notes to know what to ask in the next one. Forgetting is easier than we remember.

Using feedback in a one-on-one meeting 

Constructive feedback is the cornerstone of growth and a crucial element of one-on-one catch-ups. As a manager, take some time to outline the critical areas where you want to share feedback. Keep the basics in mind: the feedback should be constructive, give it right in time, and help with the resources and support needed to implement it. Afterward, transfer it to the progress of your one-on-one conversation and keep moving.  It can go like this: “I’ve been reviewing your recent work, and overall, I’m impressed with the quality and attention to detail. However, I noticed a few areas where there’s room for improvement, particularly in communicating updates to the team. Let’s work together to refine your approach.”  And it should not go like this: “Your performance has been subpar, and frankly, I’m disappointed. You need to step up your game or start looking for other opportunities. I don’t have time to babysit you through every task.
  • does not tell what to improve or how 
  • the tone and language are threatening 
  • does not provide guidance 
Critically, ensure that feedback is not personal. You can use interesting techniques like the feedback sandwich to deliver it effectively during a one-on-one meeting.  Next up, be open to feedback, too. Remember that one-on-one meetings are a two-way street. Ask your team member what they think about the team and your management; their feedback can help you improve your and the team’s performance. Here’s how you can prompt your team members to share their thoughts during a one-on-one meeting: 
  • Follow it up after a discussion: “Additionally, is there any feedback you have for me or areas where you think I can better support you?
  • Go specific if you feel the need: “Is there anything about our team’s communication that you find challenging?
All in all, give them the space you took up earlier. Keep the questions direct as well as open-ended. Feedback from their side can take both positive and negative sides once again. While receiving feedback in a one-on-one conversation, actively listen and ask more questions to understand things better. Creating a safe space is essential for your team members to open up and demonstrate that you are open to feedback and willing to change things if needed. After all, growth is for the collective. Check out more examples of feedback here:

Building rapport in a one-on-one conversation

One-on-one meetings are your tools to bring candidness into the workspace. It fuels the team with positivity and care toward each other. Moreover, it’s your chance to build loyalty and gain support from your team members. Taking the time to check in on how the team member feels, address any concerns, and offer support that demonstrates empathy and strengthens the manager’s bond with the team member like Andrew does by asking this – “Before we wrap up, I’d like to check how you feel about your role and our team dynamics. How are you finding your workload lately? Is there anything outside of work impacting your performance that you’d like to discuss?“ Building rapport with your team members goes beyond discussing work-related matters and includes showing genuine interest in their well-being and professional development. For instance, Andrew asks Alex about her progress in guitar lessons.
I remember you mentioned your interest in learning guitar. Have you had a chance to practice that lately?“ And to make it even better, there’s something that Andrew adds –
I used to play the guitar during my college days as a member of our band. Let me know if I can be of any help. It’s been a while since I picked it up.“ It creates a shared interest and relatability for the two to connect. Sometimes, your team members might be going through personal troubles that impact everywhere; you can become a source of empathy and reassurance. Focus on listening empathetically and providing guidance in suitable ways. Rapport building is not about ticking boxes; it’s about showing up and caring as your team needs you to. Sometimes, they might feel uncomfortable, especially when your team is new to one-on-one meetings. In such situations, take the lead and set the tone right. Don’t head in with tiredness; that will make your team members feel the same. Instead, push the energy you want the discussion to have. Keep your tone and demeanor open to conversation, and demonstrate friendliness with your body language. Don’t forget to keep your phone aside for a while and the conversation the attention it truly deserves. Now, you might think that you are doing everything right. You have a checklist of topics to discuss and exude your best energy, yet the catch-ups don’t seem right. You might not be seeing the other perspective. While managers and employees agree that one-on-one meetings are important, Hypercontext found a key area of disagreement: how well are the one-on-ones going? 72% of managers believed their employees were motivated after a discussion, but the number sinks to 58% when team members are asked. Does your team disagree similarly? You can find out with Risely!  First, take the free one-on-one meeting skill assessment for managers here. It will give you a detailed analysis of the skills you need to conduct one-on-one meetings effectively. Second, ask your team to assess your one-on-one meeting skills. The best part is that this assessment is anonymous. You get a cumulative score representing what your team thinks, and their privacy is protected.  Next, ask Merlin about it; Merlin is Risely’s AI coach, who is present 24*7 to help out managers who want to unleash their true potential, just like you! The first three conversations with Merlin are free here. Along with getting tips, you can practice discussions through role plays, where Merlin acts like your team members, and your conversations are reviewed. One-on-one meetings foster authentic relationships and trust between managers and team members. These meetings provide open communication, enabling managers to gain deeper insights into their team’s aspirations and concerns. By actively listening and giving support, managers can create a safe space where team members feel valued and empowered. Structuring these meetings with clear agendas and frequent check-ins reinforces their importance and facilitates meaningful discussions. Moreover, building rapport through genuine interest and empathy strengthens bonds and enhances the work environment. Ultimately, investing time and effort in one-on-one meetings cultivates a culture of collaboration, growth, and mutual respect within the team.

Grab a free one-on-one meeting toolkit here!

Find valuable resources curated by experts including one-on-one meeting questions, frameworks, and much more.

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7 Best Practices For Making Virtual One On One Meetings Effective

7 Best Practices For Making Virtual One On One Meetings Effective

Are you tired of never-ending email chains and miscommunications within your team? Have you ever found yourself struggling to build a connection with your colleagues while working remotely?  With remote work becoming the new normal, virtual one on one meetings have become essential to employee management. It helps managers connect with their team members personally and address any issues or concerns they may have.  In this blog, we will discuss seven best practices that can help you make virtual one on one meetings effective. We will cover the importance of these meetings, preparing for them, and how to conduct them effectively. By following these practices, you can ensure that your virtual one on one meetings are productive, engaging, and help build strong relationships with your team members. Let’s dive in!

Importance of Virtual One-on-One Meetings

In today’s world, remote work has become the new norm, and virtual communication has become an essential part of our daily work routine. Amid this new work environment, one-on-one meetings are more crucial than ever. Although face-to-face meetings may not always be possible, virtual one on one meetings allow managers, team leaders, and employees to connect, collaborate, and communicate effectively. Here are some of the key reasons why virtual one-on-one meetings are essential for a successful remote work environment:
  1. Building Relationships: Virtual one on one meetings allow team members to build rapport, establish personal connections, and promote team bonding. Building these relationships can lead to better collaboration, enhanced teamwork, and increased trust, even when working remotely.
  2. Clear Communication: Communication is key to any successful work environment, and virtual one on one meetings are essential to achieving clear and concise communication. These meetings help clarify goals, expectations, feedback, and progress, ensuring everyone is aligned and on the same page.
  3. Employee Engagement: Virtual one on one meetings allow employees to voice their thoughts, ideas, and concerns. Virtual one-on-one meetings can increase employee engagement, motivation, and job satisfaction by providing a platform to communicate openly.
Virtual one on one meetings are a crucial aspect of remote work. They provide opportunities for relationship building, clear communication, increased productivity, employee engagement, and better performance. By incorporating virtual one-on-one meetings into their work routine, organizations can ensure their employees are aligned, connected, and engaged, ultimately leading to a more successful and productive work environment.

Preparing for a Virtual One-on-One Meeting

Setting the stage for a successful virtual one-on-one meeting requires adequate preparation. Such as;

Scheduling the Meeting and Setting an Agenda

Scheduling a virtual one-on-one meeting can be challenging, especially if both participants have different schedules and are in different time zones. Setting a clear agenda beforehand is essential to ensure the meeting runs smoothly. This helps both members focus on achieving their objectives efficiently.  Consider scheduling the meeting at a time that works best for both members, considering any work schedule or time zone differences. Sending out a calendar invite with the agenda and any necessary materials ahead of time helps everyone stay on track and be prepared for the conversation.

Choosing the Right Video Conferencing Platform

Selecting the right video conferencing platform is essential for virtual one on one meetings to be effective. A poor-quality platform can cause disruptions in communication and lead to unproductive conversations. Factors such as ease of use, security features, and device compatibility should be considered when choosing a platform. Popular options like Zoom, Microsoft Teams, and Google Meet provide features like screen sharing, recording options, and file transfer, making them ideal for virtual one-to-one meetings.  Before the meeting starts, it is crucial to test the selected platform to avoid last-minute technical difficulties. Communicating with participants ahead of time to ensure they have access and understand how to join the video call can also contribute to a smooth meeting experience.

Creating a Productive Meeting Space

Creating a productive meeting space ensures your virtual one on one meeting succeeds. As you prepare for an in-person meeting, finding a quiet, dedicated space to focus and avoid distractions is important. This can be especially challenging when working from home or in a shared workspace, so take some time to set up your environment beforehand. Consider testing your internet connection and audiovisual equipment to ensure everything works properly. A reliable connection and clear audio and video can help the conversation flow smoothly and prevent technical difficulties from interrupting the meeting. Additionally, preparing an agenda ahead of time can help keep the discussion on track and ensure that all important topics are covered.  Encouraging open communication and active listening can make the most of your virtual one on one meeting.

7 Best Practices For Making Virtual One On One Meetings Effective

Here are seven best practices for making virtual one-on-one meetings effective:
  1. Set an agenda: To make the conversation stay focused and productive, set a well-defined agenda outlining the topic of discussion. It helps both the members to prepare and provides a clear structure for the meeting.
  2. Establish expectations: Clarify the purpose and objectives of the meeting at the beginning. Discuss timelines, goals, and roles to ensure that both members have a mutual understanding of what needs to be accomplished during the meeting.
  3. Encourage participation: Actively encourage participation from both sides by asking open-ended questions, seeking input, and providing opportunities for feedback. This fosters a collaborative environment, enhances engagement, and promotes effective communication.
  4. Use video conferencing: Opt for video conferencing instead of audio-only calls. Seeing each other’s facial expressions and body language helps to establish a personal connection and enhances understanding. It also prevents miscommunication that can occur in written or verbal communication alone.
  5. Take breaks: Virtual meetings can be mentally draining due to screen time. Incorporate short breaks to allow participants to rest their eyes and recharge. It helps maintain focus, attention, and overall productivity during the meeting.
  6. Follow up: After the meeting, send a summary or minutes to all participants, outlining key points discussed, decisions made, and any action items or deadlines. This ensures clarity and accountability, reducing the chance of misunderstandings or missed tasks.
  7. Seek feedback: Ask for feedback from each other on the effectiveness of the meeting. Inquire about what worked well and what could be improved. Incorporating feedback helps refine future meetings and ensures continuous improvement in the virtual one on one communication process.
By following these best practices, virtual one on one meetings can be structured, engaging, and productive, fostering effective communication and collaboration even in remote work.

Benefits of Virtual one on one meetings

Virtual one on one meetings offer several benefits, including:
  1. Convenience: One-on-one meetings can be held from anywhere, anytime, eliminating the need for travel or in-person meetings.
  2. Flexibility: Virtual meetings allow more flexibility in scheduling, making finding a time that works for both members easier.
  3. Improved Focus: Virtual one-on-one meetings allow focused and productive conversations without distractions from other colleagues or the office environment.
  4. Enhanced Personal Connection: Despite the physical distance, virtual meetings can foster a personal connection, providing a more comfortable environment for open and honest communication.
  5. Time-Saving: Virtual one-on-one meetings are often shorter than in-person meetings, saving time and increasing efficiency for both members.
Virtual one-on-one meetings can improve communication, build stronger relationships, and enhance productivity, making them an increasingly popular choice for many workplaces.

Conclusion

Virtual one-on-one meetings are a great way to build relationships, boost employee morale, and improve productivity. By preparing for your virtual meeting, you can ensure it is productive and efficient. Focus on the employee’s needs and goals, clarify expectations and objectives, set realistic priorities and deadlines, demonstrate empathy and support, and encourage proactive problem-solving. The benefits of virtual one-on-one meetings cannot be overstated; they help build trust between managers and employees, increase accountability, enhance communication skills, and promote teamwork. To learn more about how to make your one-on-one meetings effective and become a better manager, Sign up for Risely-Manager’s Buddy.

Are you following these one-on-one meeting best practices, or missing some on the way?

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FAQs

What do you say in a 1 to 1 meeting?

You can discuss goals, challenges, progress, feedback, and personal development in a one-on-one meeting. It’s a chance to build rapport, address concerns, and align on expectations.

What are the types of one on one meeting?

The types of one-on-one meetings include performance check-ins, coaching sessions, career development discussions, goal-setting meetings, problem-solving sessions, and relationship-building conversations.

What is the purpose of a 1 on 1 meeting?

A one-on-one meeting aims to foster open communication, build relationships, provide feedback, align on goals, address challenges, and support professional development in a personalized and focused setting.

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One-on-One Meetings: The Most Essential Tool In Any Manager’s Arsenal
One of the most critical aspects of effective people management is regular and frequent one-on-one meetings. These meetings are essential for thee reasons:
  • First, one-on-one meetings provide an opportunity for managers to get to know their team members on a personal level, which can build trust and encourage collaboration.
  • Second, one-on-one meetings allow managers to give feedback and clear instructions in a confidential environment. This enables team members to be more open and receptive to feedback, which helps them improve their performance.
  • Third, one-on-one meetings allow managers and their team members to discuss complex issues better avoided in more extensive group settings.
One of the managers’ most common mistakes is not scheduling enough one-on-one meetings. Managers who do not regularly schedule one-on-one meetings are likely to experience lower productivity and morale among their team members.
To have fruitful one-on-one meetings, managers should be well prepared. This preparation can include making notes and using a recording device if appropriate and with permission; taking inventory of the project and gathering information on similar projects is also helpful. There are a variety of ways to structure one-on-one meetings. Some managers prefer to hold all their one-on-one meetings in person, while others may use video conferencing software or a virtual meeting tool in the hybrid era. Whichever approach you choose, it is vital to ensure that each meeting is focused and specific in its purpose. We have six core tips for you to master this essential skill. Read on here.

Most managers I speak with often ask me, “Ashish, what should I ask in the one-on-one meetings.” It is common for managers who are not used to these meetings to be confused about how to conduct them. Remember, these meetings are mainly for the team member and lesser for you to give feedback to them. I usually follow the 80-20 principle. 80% of the time is focused on the team member, and 20% of the time is focused on me providing feedback to them. Depending on your working relationship, the frequency of the meetings, and how deep you are in the process, there are a bunch of topics on which you can fix the agenda. The questions you can prepare to ask will depend on the topic you want to address. Here is a handy guide that lists 25 questions on different topics you can ask. Obviously, these are not exhaustive. You can always customize these and add more specific ones for your situation. But these will surely get you started and sustain you until a solid habit is formed. As I said, most of the time is reserved for the team members to talk. So you must encourage them and ask as many open-ended questions as possible. For this to work effectively, you must have developed active listening skills. But don’t worry, you will get your chance as well. When you speak, you must focus on only a few things.
  1. Giving constructive feedback
  2. Aligning the team member with the team’s direction and objectives
  3. Relaying critical information that concerns them
  4. Addressing conflicts
As you do this, you will see that you are using some common words across all your one-on-one meetings. This is what we call the manager’s vocabulary. There are a few words that every manager must understand and use for effective people management. These words cover a whole range of areas across the people management spectrum. I will not build the suspense further but rather share these words directly with you. This article lists these words and also their importance and usage. So, here you go 🙂 In essence, managers can get so much done through these effective one-on-one meetings with their team members. Not only do these meetings help to keep track of the work done by each team member, but they also provide a platform for resolving conflicts and ensuring that everyone is on the same page. It is, in fact, the lifeline of a manager and team member relationship. However, with so many distractions in our lives, making time for these critical interactions can be challenging. So remember, they are essential, and you must make time for the important stuff in your work life.
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